11/28/13 Mom Writes: Thanksgiving

This blog might be a little longer than some of Maggie’s.  We had some difficulty this Thanksgiving morning as Jim’s mom suffered a stroke or some other neurological event which caused her to collapse after eating breakfast.  She was taken by ambulance to the ER and, as of this writing, is awaiting tests.  She has a history of strokes, and all we can do right now is wait.

I am taking a deep breath and honestly writing:

I don’t know how to feel.  I’ve had a very hard time at my in-laws’ expense.  At the same time, I don’t wish ill upon anyone, especially my husband, for whom this morning has been very hard.  Some years ago, he lost his father right before Thanksgiving.

The nutshell saga is this:  Jim’s older brother didn’t want us to get married, and told lies about me to the entire family, which of course, spread like wildfire to all the nieces, etc.  Long story short, I was not exactly welcomed into the family; and for most of it, it’s been a rough ride.

Although I tell myself to move on, forget the past and live in the present, old wounds are hard to heal.  The holidays are especially difficult as my adopted parents have both died, so my side of the family is nonexistent.  Sometimes, I don’t feel like I have a counterweight to Jim’s family.  I get angry and resentful that I have to cook, clean my house, and be on my best behavior for people I am still uncomfortable around.  I tell Jim that I’m supposed to enjoy the holidays, too.  Then I catch myself.

I have come to accept that the best thing I can do is this: not to judge them.  (Although I will point out that my one brother-in-law has such….energetic children I had to kennel Maggie for the holiday until Saturday.  It wouldn’t have been a good scenario if my usually good-natured dog lost her temper around them.)  So for all of us, I packed her a turkey dinner and sent her off.  It doesn’t seem fair though, and like this is just one more hoop I have to jump through (not to mention Maggie!) for my in-laws.

So, it’s Thanksgiving.  Aside from everything else I’ve just mentioned about what’s wrong, what’s right?  What am I thankful for?

I am thankful and grateful this year that I have my immediate family:  Jim, Erik, Jamie, Jenny, Mike.  I am thankful for my canine family of Maggie, Rusk, and CoCo.  I am happy and grateful to have fond memories of those who have passed.  I am extremely thankful, mindful, humbled, and blessed, that we are all healthy.  I am thankful we are together this year and that my sons are not, for example, stationed overseas somewhere, with all the horrors that war entails; and I am indebted to our servicemen and women who sacrifice so much.  I am grateful for the roof that is over my head and the food that is in my belly.  I am thankful I have a warm coat and a reliable vehicle.  I am thankful I have a job and that my family is gainfully employed.  I am sincerely grateful that my youngest is in a good school.  I am thankful, grateful, and happy to have good friends in my life – you know who you are.  And I count myself lucky that I have a strong blogging community to share with.

I made pies all day yesterday, and I’m thankful they turned out just fine.  Here’s a picture of one of the pumpkins:


I  hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and had lots and lots of pie.

As far as the situation with Jim’s mom?  I will watch, wait, and be thankful for all that I have.  The holidays can be difficult and I accept that.  However, I am going to focus on the positive.  Happy Thanksgiving from me and Maggie.

Your friend,  Elizabeth

15 thoughts on “11/28/13 Mom Writes: Thanksgiving

  1. farfetchedfriends

    Liz…what’s WRONG with you??? You should have totally put CoCo & Rusk in the kennel with Maggie so she would have had some entertainment! 😉 (just kidding!)

    Hang in there my friend. That’s a tough spot. My situation is nothing like yours, but I understand the being outnumbered and disliked thing – I’ve been a single mom forever! With multiple kids NO ONE is ever on my side! At least now I’m down to only one, and I can breathe again.

    Please keep us updated on how his mom is doing.

  2. Jules

    My prayers are so with you (all of you) during this difficult time. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you immediately and in the near and distant future and know that we will be sending out prayers and hugs to all of you. Stay strong because your family will need you to, and let us know how to help you because you are so important to and loved by so many.

  3. Adam Hughes

    ‘in laws’ are never easy to get on with,this seems to be a universal truth. Thank-You for being so frank and speaking about your feelings. I hope your mother in-law gets better,And that you have a Wonderful Thanks Giving. That Pie you made,looks delicious. Have a slice for me. A great post. Thank-you. It certainly tugged on my heart strings.

    1. maggie0019 Post author

      Rachel, those kids were beyond a handful! I’m SO GLAD Mags wasn’t here! (and yes, I saved her a slice)! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Please give Butterfly & Cricket a pat for me!

  4. weggieboy

    I never used to like holidays because they were like home invasions, where little routines (like when I went to bed (always too late when company was there), but not when I woke up (always very early!) were disrupted, leaving me in a sour mood.

    Those that involved youngsters especially wore me out since I don’t have any of my own and am not immune to brat-like behavior that comes out of the kids having THEIR routines disrupted. Sometimes the adults behaved like the children, for the same reason.

    Of course, as the family grew older, members died or moved too far away to return every holiday like they did in the early years, I began to realize how important it is to have those family times, even if they are sometimes tense: We only get occasional chances to be together all at once, and those chances are fewer and fewer with time, usually for someone’s funeral.

    One of the blessings of age is the realization that most of those things one stewed about in past are/weren’t truly worth the energy wasted stewing about them. With that realization, one can concentrate more on what is important: health, family, well-being. A positive attitude is the best antidote to the woes of existence.


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