3/9/14 The Dirty Bullet

Let me start out by saying, “It wasn’t my fault.”

I did not tell that rabbit to park his fuzzy-tailed behind on my (MY!!!) front lawn last night.  And even though I barked and barked and barked my head off at him from the big window in the dining room, he just stared at me and didn’t move.  What cheek!

I hadn’t forgotten about the rabbit today.  So, while Mom was at a meeting, Dad let me out in the back and I picked up the scent. 

Pretty soon I was running back and forth “border patrol” style by the fence, hot on my quarry.  Dad shouted at me to come back into the house, but I ignored him.  That was a mistake, because Dad is the Alpha and he came out with my lead and got me, and promptly popped me into the crate.  I knew it was coming because I didn’t listen.  Mom came home and was very surprised when I did not greet her because I was doing time.

Mom let me out after checking with Dad.  I was still feeling feisty and grabbed one of Dad’s shoes and ran upstairs with it.  Jamie is getting quick these days, and in short order had the shoe back in his hand.  More dirty looks from Dad.  They didn’t understand that I was pretending the shoe was the rabbit.  He was still fresh in my mind!

After a quick dinner, Mom scouted (as best she could, humans can’t see well in the dark – poor things) out the back yard and told Jamie, “She’s got to have a potty break but I don’t want her chasing that rabbit!”  Mom let me out and I took care of business quickly, then sniffed around and shot through the fence to the woods on the other side.  Jamie had been watching from the window and was out on my trail before I knew it. 

If there’s one thing I like better than fresh rabbit, it’s peanut butter.  When Jamie ran outside, he grabbed a jar of peanut butter first, and thus lured me fairly quickly back to him.  He snapped on the lead and we burst back into the house.  Mom took one look at me and said a bad word.  The snow has been melting and I was covered in thick mud from muzzle to tail!

Mom dragged me upstairs to the bathroom, where Dad was making some big decisions.  She pounded on the door and said that she had an emergency.  Dad said, “Another skunk?” But then he took a look at me and said, “She’s a Dirty Bullet.  I’ll start the water.”  Oh, no!  Another bath!  I definitely did not want it!

While Mom got things ready, Dad held my lead and before you could say, “Easter bunny!” I was soaking wet and very miserable.  Mom does give a good bath though, despite the fact that I started smelling like skunk again (water reactivates the oils).  It was also not my fault that I moved and the hand-held shower slipped, spraying Mom fully in the face and soaking all her clothes.  Mom said another funny word. 

Soon I was out and, sans collar, running around the house.  I took up my sentry position at the front window and saw…the rabbit!  “Oh, shut up already!” Mom said. 

I can’t believe it!

Woof!  Love, Maggie

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