9/2/15 Guest blogger: Mom, “I’m kind of at an impasse”

Hello, friends, and thank you to Maggie for letting me hijack her blog today.

I’m kind of at an impasse right now as to whether or not my dog (and I) should continue blogging.

See, there’s a lot of stuff going on that’s hard for me to work through right now.

Maybe I’m in the midst of a pity party, but the icing on the cake was last night, when Jim promised to bring me my medication from the pharmacy, and showed up 20 minutes after I’d reminded him (again) empty-handed. It would be one thing, but he OFFERED to get it, and still I was stuck reminding him about 8 times. And yet – nothing. Why did he offer? I should have just done it myself. It’s not like I don’t need the medication. I do.

I feel like I’ve been reduced to white noise in the background. Whether it’s important stuff, like putting money in the bank, or getting my medication as a favor, I’m just shit out of luck, I guess.

Sigh. I’m feeling sorry for myself. I feel unimportant. I feel like no one listens. I’d like to go to bed now, please, even though I just got up a little while ago.

I don’t know exactly when I turned into the person that I don’t like. It must be up there with the multiple reminders. I feel like the juggler who has all the balls in the air. Even though I’m asking the audience (my family) to take some of the balls away and lighten my load, it just doesn’t happen.

Hence, pick-it-up/put-it-back/did-you-do-this/did-you-get-that/ has become my mantra. When I don’t nag at people, and something doesn’t get done, somehow, it ends up being MY FAULT for “not saying anything”, or not saying anything, enough times.  How many reminders are enough reminders? When is enough, enough? My question is, when do I get to STOP saying things and have people take responsibility for themselves? How did I get into this situation? I don’t like this merry-go-round, and I want to get off. Literally, we have conversations like, “You didn’t remind me.” “I reminded you last night.” “But you didn’t remind me today.” It’s nuts. I can’t take it.

Ironically, Jim will chastise me and say, “You don’t like asking people for help” but when I do, NOTHING GETS DONE. So I’d just as soon do it myself. But I can’t do everything. I can’t be everywhere at once. I know, it’s a pity party. I just took an anti anxiety pill and am hoping for the best.

I’m sick of it and feel like walking away.

I’ve spent the day curled up in the bed or on the couch with Maggie and a headache.

I feel like, if I’m not important enough for my family to pay attention to me – how can I expect the blogging world to understand?

Probably I’m going to take some time off. Maggie will let me know if it’s time to continue.

Sorry for whining.

Liz

27 thoughts on “9/2/15 Guest blogger: Mom, “I’m kind of at an impasse”

  1. K. A. Bryce

    Hey, it’s okay to feel down–god knows I’m there enough myself but for me its a chemical imbalance usually. My feelings are that if the blog is not fun right now don’t do it–unless it is something you know you like doing–in which case don’t let other thingds get in the way–it’s an outlet. As for those around you it seems as though you might want to call a meeting and be real open with them about your feelings but doing it in a formal rational setting could get their attention. I would make a list of the things you need and the things you are willing to do for others and let them know how you feel. People are not mind readers and small complaints go in one ear and out the other. Eyeball to eyeball and see who blinks. Smiles…>KB

    Reply
  2. noodle4president

    Oh, no! Liz, don’t leave. The blogville community DOES understand. I think part of the reason we all have these blogs is because it’s our “escape from reality.” My life has been much of the same. It’s bordering on ridiculous at this point. I think to myself, “How many times do I have to ask before he just does it?” You have support here. If you need time off, though, we will understand. (((Hugs))) Noodle’s Mom, Samantha

    Reply
  3. hitandrun1964

    Okay, first your a woman and women usually get treated this way. It’s not you personally, it’s your gender. Sucks, yes, women know this. It’s not that they don’t love you or care about you but you’re female and don’t really matter in they same way they do. YOU’RE supposed to be doing EVERYTHING, didn’t you get the memo? Of course YOUR’RE to blame for everything…that comes with the label on your pink blanket in the nursery. We all hate the way that works. Blogging is the sunlight in that dark night, my friend. I was lucky, my husband wasn’t like that BUT he did say, “I can’t hear you because you’re talking.” LOLOLOL My son in-in-law told Debbie that he can’t hear her because of the pitch of her voice. She looked it up and some believe that’s true. LOLOLOLOL OMG! You are living with 3 males and a female dog. The dog is the only one who will understand you in your home. When I tell you IT’S NOT YOU, I MEAN IT. We don’t count. We don’t matter. We are female and people can argue about that but it’s true that as a group, we just don’t count. THAT’S WHY I’M ALWAYS YELLING ON MY BLOG. So many women are depressed for the reasons you are. Take Maggie and run away for a while. Take the money out of the bank and go on vacation. LOL So many women have told me how nice it is to take care of themselves. Everything gets done, they don’t have to repeat themselves 1,000 times a day and frustration is a thing of the past. Do what you have to but just know that it’s THEM! And the bad news: nothing’s going to change.

    Reply
  4. Susan P

    Oh Liz. I am so sad that you are having such a tough time. So often the people we love most fail in paying attention to the needs of others. In my opinion, most families in America are overbooked.

    So, do what you need to do to get yourself in a sunnier place. Then, if you can, call a family meeting. Tell them how you feel, and tell them what you need. You are an artist, and that calls for time to dream and dream. Ask them for suggestions on how to keep the necessaries get done for everyone.

    I think you can do this together. I’ve been there. No one likes to change, but it is needful from time to time. Change may not be an overnight thing, but every little bit helps.

    Hug from me, woof from Teddy, Purrs from George and a beautiful trill from Mikki, our cockatiel.

    Reply
  5. The Daily Blabber

    You have a right to whine. The male sex are frustrating. They are never in a rush to get something that is a priority to them done, they never remember what you ask them to do, or at least that is what they claim, but I’m not always convinced,

    Reply
    1. The Daily Blabber

      My page shifted and I accidentally submitted when I was trying to edit. What I was trying to say is, hang in there. Men are frustrating. It’s in the DNA. Keep this as a place to get the crude off of your chest and before you know it you’ll feel better about all of it. When all else fails put something in place that makes him more efficient. I send my husband a text and he checks his phone before he comes home to make sure he didn’t forget anything before he gets home.

      Reply
      1. maggie0019 Post author

        that’s a good idea but one of the problems – he refuses to check txt or vm we’ve had emergencies and I’ve been screwed so to speak. thanks tho

  6. loisajay

    Well, this is pretty crummy. Maybe your family looks at you as Super Woman and don’t know how to do it for themselves. I’m really sorry. Curled up on the couch with Maggie sounds like the best thing to me. They can cook their own damn dinner!

    Reply
  7. http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com

    Have you tried carrier pigeons to convey your messages? It is frustrating, frustrating, frustrating, and you have every right to whine and carry on like stink if you feel like it. Then, settle down and try to figure out strategies that may work. With Maggie by your side as inspiration, you’ll be okay. I’m sending your beautiful thoughts on which to float.

    Reply

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