9/7/15 The Last Downer Post from Mom, I Swear

OK, this is Liz again. I want to thank all of you for your support while I went through a bad time. A lot of you left me comments with good advice and during this interval, I’ve been thinking about the way I want to go and what I want to do. One thing is sure: the only thing that can possibly change is MY way that I react to situations. So chin up and start adjusting my attitude. This is going to be the last downer post, then I’ll let Maggie take the blog back.

I’d mentioned in my last post that a lot of stuff was happening that I couldn’t talk about. Well, most of these things have now happened and I can mention some of them.

For one thing, Erik and Jenny broke up. Erik had moved in the week we went camping, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise, but it still hit hard for two reasons: One, they’d been together four years. Two, it’s hard having another personality come (back) to the home. We’ve all been adjusting, and it’s not always easy trying to accommodate everyone.

The other thing that happened was, my friend, who had been sick for some time, passed away. It hit me like a train. She’d been through a lot with Type I diabetes, which took the sight out of her eye and the hearing from one ear. She’d had a kidney transplant (again, complications from diabetes) and had heart trouble. In the last couple of years, she fell twice, and then she had a stroke. Recently, she’d suffered another, and that is what took her.

We usually corresponded through emails since it was hard for her to talk on the phone. With email, I could adjust the font size, so she would have no problem reading. So, I’d been sending her emails, sending her pictures, sent her a birthday card with a note saying I wanted to take her to lunch. Her birthday was yesterday. But she never got the card. I’d driven past her house, and a strange car was out in front of it. A shiver went down my spine, but I told myself it was just her son visiting. It wasn’t.

I fondly remember taking Maggie over there to meet her. I was worried Maggie would jump, but the dog seemed to know that this person was fragile, and just lay down at her feet and thumped her tail. Denise told me Maggie was a good dog (I blogged about this, when I wanted Maggie to take the therapy dog training. However, Maggie is still quite excitable). Denise told me about her Basset Hound, Barney, and how he watched over her. A couple of times when she was in a diabetic emergency, the dog barked and howled until someone came and took her to the ER. When Barney went to the Rainbow Bridge, Denise had a bronze statue of him put in her garden. She could never bear to get another dog, but always asked me about Maggie.

Like I said, yesterday would have been her birthday. We had a beautiful day, with sunny skies and hot temperatures (strange for our part of the country), just like Denise would have liked. She always said she was a Summertime Girl and loved the heat, the sun, and the light.

The night was dark and clear, and Jamie built a huge bonfire in the back yard. Jim, Jamie, and I sat around it and watched the flames shoot 2 and 3 feet in the air. Red-orange, glowing sparks popped and flew to the heavens like so many tiny shooting stars. I sat back in my chair and felt my friend close to me. I felt comforted.

I closed my eyes and hoped with all I had that she was somewhere safe and comfortable, somewhere where she could eat whatever she chose and not have another needle. Somewhere where she could see clearly and hear the tiniest tinkling bell. Somewhere where she didn’t need a cane and her heart beat wild with joy. Somewhere where she was holding Barney and he was licking her face.

Rest in peace my friend.

Love, Liz

18 thoughts on “9/7/15 The Last Downer Post from Mom, I Swear

      1. The Daily Blabber

        Just hold on to seeing her healthy, happy, and mobile. Know that she’s there when you think of her. And find a way to let go of the pain. Maybe do something in her honor, like plant a garden or something.

      2. maggie0019 Post author

        thanks. I called her husband today, and asked if I could help in any way, but he is with their son right now. he thanked me though, and at least I felt like I’d done something constructive. I may plant a tree for her in the spring.

  1. loisajay

    If Denise read this, she would cry. Or maybe smile. I cried. This is a lot, Liz. Your kids are your kids but moving back home is a whole ‘nother ball game so no explanation there. Hugs to you; woofs to Maggie. Well, actually, I now have cats so they all said ‘Meow, Maggie!’

  2. weggieboy

    what a terrible thing to endure…. I’m sure your friendship was much appreciated, your kindnesses something your friend needed to help her deal with her body’s rebellion. Too often seriously ill people find their friends dropping away. Maybe it’s the fear of death or the realization that one is mortal. I suppose it is many things, one for each person whop stops coming by. You handled it well, I think, and losing a friend this way never is easy.

    1. maggie0019 Post author

      As usual, you bring up all the good points. I didn’t mind driving Denise around when her vision got her to the point that she couldn’t anymore. She really was like a big sis to me and I miss her so much. Thank you.

  3. hitandrun1964

    I’m so sorry for the things you have just gone through, Liz. A friend is is a terrible thing to lose. I believe your friend doing exactly what you described and thinking about what a wonderful connection you had with each other. I hope things straighten out soon. It takes time, that’s for sure. I’m so sorry. Hope things work out with your son coming home and with his break up. Another difficult hurdle to jump. You have a lot going on. Try to take a moment for yourself now and then, if you can. Sending love and hugs, my friend.

  4. Susan P

    I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is so hard to find a new path of thought when they are gone, and one tends to think of things like. “Oh, I have to tell her….” Your friend will always be a part of who you are. The time you have spent together, the things your done and shared. Peace to you.

  5. Amber Danette

    My heart goes out to you, truly it does. I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time at the moment. Big hugs to you, Maggie and family. Xxx


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