Mom was feeling tired and run-down today after the punctuation test yesterday.
She woke Jamie up this morning only to find that he had stubbed another toe (“I think I broke it, Mom!”) and he had a sore throat to boot (“I just finished antibiotics Sunday!”)
Mom grabbed the little wooden flashlight she got at Menard’s for a birthday gift and told Jamie to Open Wide and Say Aaah. Jamie took a big gulp and proceeded to say, “Aaah”, something that is always difficult for him for some reason and results in a gag reflex. “Hmmm. Jim, his tonsils are all white. I think he has Strep. Can you take him to the urgent care clinic while I call the school?”
Dad grumbled a bit but took Jamie. The odd thing is, when Jamie was a young pup, he never got sick. Ever. Now that he’s 15, every sneaky germ that slides by ends up making him ill. Mom can’t figure it out. Anyway, back to the story.
Dad called Mom from the doctor’s office with a Tone in his voice. “It’s allergies,” he said somberly. “Bullsh**,” said Mom. I perked up my ears. “Allergies don’t turn your tonsils white.” “Wait, wait, here comes the doctor…he’s positive for Strep,” Dad said, the Tone in his voice magically disappearing.
Mom hung up the phone. “Don’t mess with Dr. Mom,” she said to herself.
So, Mom went to get some medication. I sat in the bed watching over Jamie. We heard some growly, kind of grumbly, noises from the neighbors who live in the side-woods. I went on high alert:
Suddenly, there was a Crack! and a Thump! And a huge, dead tree fell over our fence! Quickly, Jamie texted Mom. “Maybe the neighbor will move the tree,” she said, hopefully.
Mom came home and surveyed the damage.
Just then, the Jesters pulled up to mow the lawn. Mr. Jester told Mom not to worry, they would throw the tree back over the fence. Then he saw it and said, “Nothing doing.”
Mom called the City, and they said it was Not Their Jurisdiction. Mom called the Police, and asked if it was OK for citizens to just randomly drop trees on other peoples’ property. The Police sent Mom’s call to Code Enforcement, and now we are all waiting to see what happens next.
The upshot of the story is: Mom says she can’t leave the house without trees falling on our property or some other disaster. Mom swears she will never, ever, leave the house again, but I know she has to pick Jamie up from school tomorrow, because he’s going back.
I swear, I can’t make this stuff up!
Woof! Love, Maggie